Limericks by different poets and writers

Lewis Carroll

To Miss Vera Beringer

There was a young lady of station
‘I love man’ was her sole exclamation
But when men cried, ‘You flatter’
She replied, ‘Oh! no matter
Isle of Man is the true explanation’

Rudyard Kipling 

A Boy in Quebec
There once was a boy in Quebec,
Who was buried in snow to his neck.
When asked, “Are you friz?”
He replied, “Yes, I is!
But we don’t call this cold in Quebec.”

 

Ogden Nash

There was a young belle of old Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez.
When comments arose
On the state of her clothes,
She replied, “When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez.”

 

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “let us flee!”
“Let us fly!” said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

 

The turtle lives ‘twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.

 

The ant has made himself illustrious
Through constant industry industrious.
So what? Would you be calm and placid
If you were full of formic acid?

H. G. Wells
Our novels get longa and longa
Their language gets stronga and stronga
There’s much to be said
For a life that is led
In illiterate places like Bonga!

Mark Twain

A man hired by John Smith and Co.
Loudly declared that he’d tho.
Men that he saw
Dumping dirt near his door
The drivers, therefore, didn’t do.

Robert Louis Stevenson

There was an old man of the Cape
Who made himself garments of crepe.
When asked, “Do they tear?”
He replied, “Here and there,
But they’re perfectly splendid for shape!”